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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26151328">The One Where Steve Became the Winter Soldier</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lolmemeies/pseuds/Lolmemeies'>Lolmemeies</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bucky doesn't know what to do he can't help it he's gay, Bucky is longing, Gay Panic, Ice Cream, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Soft Boys, Yes steve rogers is a dumb twink, shrinkyclinks, they snuggle but as friends, trust me it's not gay, yes it is it's very gay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:02:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,037</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26151328</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lolmemeies/pseuds/Lolmemeies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is an Au where Steve was the og cap, who got the serum remaining tiny but strong af. Steve rescues Bucky but this time around Steve falls from the train and Hydra takes him. This is the after math, After Steve is somewhat stable and living in the avengers tower wit Bucky and the others. In this Bucky still has the metal arm, and i hope you enjoy!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Steve honestly just wants to be close to Bucky. </p><p>It’s not weird, it’s tactical. If an ambush were to happen, he would be in the best place to protect Bucky. He never knew who to trust nowadays. </p><p>When he had arrived several months ago, he was deprogmed enough to stay in the compound with the rest of the avengers. He was placed in his own room, but that quickly changed. After several nights of wild unforgiving nightmares and Bucky coming to his rescue, the Captain decided it was best to have Steve in his room. The room was large enough to fit a second bed and then some more, so from then on Steve had been sleeping in Bucky’s room. </p><p>The nightmares came less often after the change. Steve found it strange but he was grateful nonetheless. </p><p>He had this urge to stay alert while the other man was unconscious and defenseless. Steve had issues falling asleep anyway so it wasn’t much of a bother. The blond was constantly paranoid in this new place, he didn’t trust the talking walls either. Steve always had some sort of weapon on him at all times, even when he slept, just to be on the safe side.</p><p>Anyway, Steve thought Bucky looked so peaceful while he slept. Not an ounce of stress or worry written upon his face. It’s dark in the room, just some moonlight filtering in through the windows. Steve’s still thinking about getting closer to Bucky, he hasn’t got caught before. </p><p>He gets off his own bed slowly, making the bed creak as little as possibly. He walks soundless across the floor, walking the few feet between the beds. He makes sure he grabs the smaller dagger out from under his pillow before pulling the blankets back. Steve slowly, carefully slips under the quilt, successfully not waking up the other man. </p><p>He feels a little adventurous tonight so he inches just a bit closer than he usually does, watching Bucky as he does so. He doesn’t even do so much as twitch and Steve lets out that breath he didn’t even know he had been holding. Steve lets himself drift off into a light slumber. </p><p>Bucky smiles to himself and cracks his eyes open to see Steve next to him. Steve looks soft with the blankets pulled up to his nose, his breath evening out. He remembers the days before the war where Steve would wheeze all night long. He hated what they did to Steve but at least they fixed his health problems. </p><p>At this point it had become a nightly ritual. Steve staying up while Bucky pretends to sleep, waiting for Steve to get in bed with him. Maybe it was selfish of him to hope that Steve remembered their past romance. Steve has been through so much pain and torture, he didn’t need that right now. </p><p>Maybe he couldn’t have Steve in that way, but he could have this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Steve wants to stay up later and Bucky allows it. They end up eating ice cream when Steve does something unexpected.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter two!!! I'm very excited for this series and i hope you all enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bucky is a little confused as to why Steve wanted to stay up later than normal but he didn’t refuse him. He never could. </p><p>Both men are in their pajamas, or at least the more appropriate version of them. Bucky isn’t going to walk around in just a pair of boxer briefs in front of Steve. He doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Steve does seem to be the most comfortable around Bucky, more talkative and less tense. </p><p>Steve’s sitting on the couch wrapped in several blankets, watching whatever randomness on is the TV. Bucky’s putting up the dishes when he decides he’ll have some ice cream before he goes to bed. He finishes putting the plates in the cabinets and the forks in the drawers before walking over to the freezer to pull out the ice cream carton. Of course he couldn’t forget Steve. especially when he noticed the vanilla carton next to the other. </p><p>His mind wanders back to the past. Hot days in Brooklyn lead to the boys going to get a cold savory treat to cool down. He’d always tease Steve about getting plain old vanilla. Steve would roll those pretty blue eyes and give him a nudge. Bucky would chuckle at it each time, loving the way Steve pretended to pout. He misses those days but having Steve back is better than no Steve, on any day of the week.</p><p>“Hey, Steve!” Bucky shouts out. </p><p>“Yeah?” he hears a voice coming from directly behind him. He jumps a little, not expecting the blond to be so close to him. Bucky whips around and sure enough, Steve’s standing there with a baby blue blanket over his shoulders. He’s practically giving Bucky doe eyes - which is evidently different from his murder glare, this look suites him well. </p><p>“Just wanted to know if you wanted some ice cream,” the brunette sighs. </p><p>“Oh.” Steve  looks down at the floor, thinking about what he wants. He has a hard time making his own decisions but he’s getting better. It’s a lot of stress and pressure, making up his mind. Bucky used to pick for him but now he’s panicking less and less. “Yes.” He says after a minute and Bucky smiles. </p><p>He pulls out his personal favorite, plum of course, setting it out on the counter. “Which kind do you want?” Bucky turned back around, to see Steve looking a bit dumbfounded, pulling the blanket tighter around him. </p><p>“Steve? You okay?” Bucky’s words make it Steve’s ears but just barely. </p><p>Bucky can tell that the other man is struggling just by the look in his face. “You like vanilla.” <br/>“Huh?” The words broke Steve’s consecration, making him turn his attention to Bucky. Steve makes an unreadable expression and Bucky knows he made a mistake a second too late, by bringing up the past. </p><p>He’s never talked about it unless Steve has brought it up and he rarely does so. He feels his heart thumping harder in his chest and his gut drops as he waits for Steve’s reaction. Steve now looks confused as though he doesn’t know what to think about Bucky’s statement. A little smile tugs on the corner of his lips and a bubbly little laugh escapes his lips. </p><p>“You always razzed me about too.” He looks up at Bucky with a genuine smile painted upon his lips and it makes the brunette’s heart flutter. It’s been a really long time since he heard Steve laugh, too long since he heard it. Bucky just wants to scoop him up in his arms and love him, laugh with him and gently kiss his forehead. He knows he can’t do that, that he can’t let his love for Steve flow freely like he desperately wants, like he desperately needs. The Captain knows the other man can be horrifyingly burtatle, he knows not to be deceived by Steve’s appearance. </p><p>Bucky doesn’t think that the blond would go all Winter Soldier on him, not really. He needs Steve to stay with him because he physically can’t stand to be away from Steve. He doesn't want him to be taken back into the government's custody, so he plays it safe. </p><p>“It’s cold,” he reminds him. Bucky knows Steve hates the cold with a burning passion. Bucky can’t blame him, he doesn’t like it either. Plenty of hot water is used between the two of them. </p><p>“Really?” Steve remarks sarcastically. </p><p>“I was just giving you a heads up, punk.” He shoots back as he’s getting the cones out. “</p><p>Jerk.” </p><p>That little word takes Bucky’s breath from his lungs and he’s flooded with emotions and memories. He swears his knees become shaky and he’s filled with longing and sadness just from that little nickname. Bucky does his best to shake it off but it’s hard when Steve's so close to him. Bucky grabs the scooper from the drawer and begins to serve Steve his sugary sweet treat. He gives quite a bit, if he remembers correctly the smaller man has a huge sweet tooth. </p><p>Bucky hands the cone to Steve, watching as his tongue swipes over his bottom lip. The brunette bites his own lip, he always thought Steve had the prettiest pair of lips. Bucky remembers how soft and sweet they are too. </p><p>“Thank you.” Steve trots back into the living room, presumably sitting back down on the couch. </p><p>The Captain mental scolds himself, he’d got to keep it together. ‘For Steve.’ He reminds himself. Bucky scoops himself out some plum ice cream, the best kind in his opinion. When he gets into the living room he spots his friend on the couch, wrapped securely in his blanket. Steve’s got the cone in both of his lethal little hands, tongue probing at the cold treat. His tongue darts out before being sucked back again and repeating. </p><p>The sight makes Bucky chuckle which intern makes Steve whip his head in Bucky’s direction. He scowls at the larger man, partly because he was right, it’s very cold. The other part being because he laughed at him. </p><p>“Told ya it was cold.” The brunette plops down next to Steve. </p><p>“Yeah, yeah.” He mutters to himself. </p><p>They end up watching The Office, but Bucky’s not really paying attention to the screen. No he’s far more interested in what’s happening beside him. Steve’s giving fucking kitten licks to his cone. It’s driving Bucky up the wall, it’s somewhere between cute and sexy. He has to stop himself from thinking about what else that perfect mouth of his could do. </p><p>“It’s cold.” Steve laps his tongue around the dripping edges. </p><p>“If you don’t like it then stop eating it.” Bucky knows Steve is a stubborn ass punk, he’ll tough out anything, even if it hurts. That makes Bucky’s heart sink when he lets his mind go. That Steve was too damn stubborn to give in, deep down he knows Steve gave them everything he had to give, fought them with every ounce of his being. He knows that deep down inside Steve screamed and pleaded for Bucky to come to his rescue. It makes his heart ache to know that it wasn’t enough, that Bucky couldn’t get to him. If he had just fucking looked for Steve-</p><p>“No.” The blond’s statement had stopped him from going any further down the rabbit hole of his own imagination, a dark and twisted on at that. It takes him just a second to remember the previous topic. </p><p>“So you do like it?” Bucky’s confusion leaks out into the question because Steve had always been complicated in the best way, but now his brain was scattered and he didn’t know what to say or how to say it. It’s such a shame because it affects almost all of his thoughts, even the simplest ones such as ice cream and his opinions on it. </p><p>The smaller man hums, taking another lick of the cone. “Yes. I do like it.” Bucky smiles a little and eats his own dessert. Steve keeps eating slower than a sloth, only hurrying when it starts to drip. Bucky finishes before his friend does, and he gets Steve some napkins because he’s making a mess but it’s alright. He likes it and he’s gonna let Steve enjoy it. </p><p>Finally when Steve finishes, he throws the used napkins into the trash can before settling back down beside Bucky. He rewraps himself back up in the fluffy blanket, getting comfortable again. A comfortable silence hangs between the two -honestly, it’s peaceful. </p><p>“Thank you.” Steve breaks the silence with that. </p><p>“For what?” Bucky responds. </p><p>“For staying up. With me.” His statement breaks up as they often do when he’s nervous or uneasy. </p><p>“It’s no problem. That’s what friends are for.” Bucky’s heart throbs within his rib cage. Friends. He’s filled with fiery rage towards the people who ripped Steve away from him, made him do absolutely horrible things that Steve has to live with and carry on with those burdens. </p><p>Bucky isn’t really paying attention, he’s not trying to ignore Steve either. He’s gotten too deep into his own thoughts he doesn’t notice Steve inching closer to him. Bucky doesn’t notice that the smaller man is watching him so intently, sitting up on his knees. He only notices when soft lips press to his cheek and his brain can’t comprehend what’s happening and he freezes. Steve pulls back quickly, like he’s done something wrong. Bucky’s brain does end up processing and he slowly looks over at the blond, who has fear painted all over his face like he’s waiting for something awful to happen. </p><p>“Did you just-“ </p><p>“I remember doing it before. That’s what we did. Because we’re..friends.” Bucky doesn’t know how to react. For what little has happened a lot is going through the Captain’s head. Steve’s face is dusted a light shade of pink and Bucky would mentally gush over how cute it was if he wasn’t panicking over this dumb twink kissing him. </p><p>“You remember that?” Steve’s shrunken himself down making himself smaller than he looks. Bucky now better than to touch him, it’s a trick because the moment hands get put on him he’ll attack. Steve’s face is almost emotionless, except for just the slightest bit of uncertainty. </p><p>“I do. Yes.” He answers after a moment. Something swells up in Bucky’s chest. It’s warm and at the same time it fucking hurts. Steve remembers. At the same time he doesn’t remember, or remember the key parts of the story. It’s like someone’s stabbed him but at the same time there are butterflies fluttering in his rib cage. </p><p>“Was I not allowed to?” If Bucky’s heart hasn’t broken yet it’s shattered now, clattering to tiny pieces. Bucky doesn’t know what to say, what to do. Of course Steve is allowed to do that. Bucky would let Steve do whatever he wanted to him, he didn’t care as long as he got to keep Steve. </p><p>“Yeah, yeah. You’re fine. Just… surprised me was all.” Steve hums in acknowledgment before yawning and Bucky thinks that’s cute, he adds more feelings onto the pile he already has for Steve. </p><p>“Let’s get you to bed, Stevie.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>feed back would be lovely!!! thank you for reading!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Steve's struggling with what he wants to wear because he wants to get it right for Bucky. Bucky helps him. There is no sexual content in this chapter.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Steve’s not sure how to feel about his new Handler. </p><p>Bucky didn’t treat him like the previous ones, mistreating him and other such things that he wishes not to discuss. He’d always ask for permission before he even laid a hand on Steve, careful not to startle him. The Asset- Steve, does not know how to feel about this. </p><p>In a sense he is grateful that he was handed over to his friend who gave him quite a bit of freedom compared to his other handlers, and that was much appreciated. It made Steve uneasy that he never knew what was going to happen next, constantly trapped in a never ending state of anxiety. Bucky, however, does his best to keep Steve updated on what they would be doing for the day. </p><p>His handler- Bucky tries to keep Steve away from the media and news, away from the desperately prying eyes of the public. Which does work, in most cases. Mostly because Steve can't figure out how to use his phone that he was given. There’s many up close accidental selfies. </p><p>Steve wakes up at approximately six thirty-seven in the morning. It’s just a tad later than his usual time, but that’s alright. He peaks his eyes open, eyes darting to check his surroundings. Once he’s made sure that the bedroom is safe he stretches out and his body as it pops and clicks from being so stiff for a long period of time. </p><p>His eyes drift over to the man sleeping beside him. He looks peaceful and not an inch of worry upon his face. Soft messy curls are strewn about on top of his head, his breathing is shallow and steady, that’s how Steve knows Bucky’s not pretending to be asleep. For a moment the blond just watches the brunette, in a non-creepy way of course. </p><p>It’s been very quiet inside of Steve’s head recently. He’s not sure how to describe what goes on up there. For lack of better words, it used to be very loud, like thousands of little voices whispering to him and at the same time there is another barking voice telling him to do horrible things. So yeah, it’s loud. </p><p>Steve likes the quiet though, it’s much better than another alternative. He ends up closing his eyes, Bucky may be pretty but he can only look for so long before he feels guilty. </p><p>The day starts as most do, slow and steady. </p><p>Bucky gets up and starts his morning routine. He heads to the bathroom and presumably does whatever he needs to do to get his hair so soft and fluffy. Steve thinks it feels just as nice as it looks. </p><p>They skip getting dressed most days, both remaining in their sleepwear. The two men only get dressed if it’s absolutely necessary of them to do so. Steve has a full closet filled with clothes of his own but he’s hardly gone through them. Pajamas are much more comfortable. </p><p>Steve could remain comfortable but Bucky had mentioned yesterday that Natasha would be coming over. The blond knows that Bucky wouldn't leave him or take him into a new environment. A new place that he did not know and trust would only cause his anxiety to spike. So it was best to remain where they are now. </p><p>It’s really not a big deal, according to Bucky. </p><p>It is a big deal. A very big deal. </p><p>Steve’s unsettled by having someone he barely knows in the apartment. He did promise bucky a couple days ago that he would work on warming up to the rest of the Avengers. He just agreed because he felt obligated, that it would make the brunette happy, and not out of his own willingness. Steve felt only a little bad afterwards but he’d known it would turn out better in the end. </p><p>He has to go out and be around Natasha because he promised Bucky. Something tells him that Bucky’s Steve did not break promises. He’s trying so hard to be Bucky’s Steve. </p><p>So that’s why he’s been standing in his own room, in front of his own closet for the past thirty minutes. It’s a simple task really, just to throw on some clothes and look presentable. When Steve was the Soldier he didn’t have to make his own choices. Sometimes he preferred it that way. Only so much stress can fit into such a small person. </p><p>Maybe it’s his fear of doing something wrong. Maybe he’s trying his best to do every little thing right so Bucky won’t punish him, or even worse, leave him. Either way he’s got to do it the right way.</p><p>When he thinks about it, it’s just clothes. You can’t mess that up. </p><p>Steve’s now sitting on his bed with his legs hanging off the edge, his fingers furled into the soft comforter. They twitch for some unknown reason as Steve looks into his open closet. He does not like this one bit. </p><p>He jumps when he hears a knock on the door and turns his attention to the other side of the room. Steve’s hands are clamped down on the material under him and it crumples between his fingers. His heart is knocking against his ribs. He’s down right scared and it doesn't make sense to ask why. He wants to do it right. He wants to be good.</p><p>“You need help in there?” The other man calls out from the other side of the barrier. <br/>Steve, does in fact, need help. Steve does not ask for help, he just sits there mouth agape as Bucky walks into the room. The blonde bows his head, partly because of shame and something else he’s not sure of. Maybe it’s because Bucky hasn’t given him permission. </p><p>“Steve? Is everything alright?” Bucky’s voice is soft and gentle. Steve’s waiting for punishment. </p><p>Bucky takes a look at the open closet, then looks back at Steve. He’s still in his pajamas. Sometimes Bucky forgets that Steve overthinks, and any little choice stresses him out. </p><p>Steve hears Bucky drop down on the floor before his voice follows. “Steve, can you look at me please?” It’s not an order but Steve does it anyway.</p><p>He’s met with grey eyes staring into his own. They’re soft like the rest of him and filled with concern. “Do you still want to do this?” His voice is above a whisper and very, very small. Steve hears him of course, enhanced hearing and all, picks up the sweet tone. </p><p>“Yes! I want to. It’ll be. Good?” He rushes out. He doesn’t sound sure of himself but when does he ever? </p><p>“Okay.” Bucky pauses. “But do you want to?” He’s being overly thorough. </p><p>Steve doesn’t want to. He says yes anyway. </p><p>“Alright.” The older man sighs. He pops back up, walking to the closet. “Let’s get you dressed.” He states as he files through Steve's closet. All of the items in the closet are solid colored with their sleeves varying in length. </p><p>There’s something else that’s been slipped into the closet though. It’s one of Bucky’s Henley’s, the maroon one to be specific. He takes it out, thinking that he’ll put it back in his own closet later. Steve must have followed him over there because he gingerly tugs the shirt off of the hanger and pulls it towards him. </p><p>“Oh, I was just-” “I like this one.” They both spoke at the same time. They stare at each other for a long moment. </p><p>Steve’s fingertips run over the soft material and he likes it, that it’s soft. He also likes it because it’s Bucky’s. It makes something warm swell up in his chest he’s not sure why. Steve’s not sure if he likes that feeling. It’s something he’s not felt before but it’s oddly too familiar. </p><p>“Okay then.” The brunette’s lips tug up into a small smile. Steve smiles back. It’s forced, but a smile nonetheless. </p><p>Bucky tosses a pair of blue jeans on Steve’s bed and sets out his shoes and socks. “Do you need any help?” Steve shakes his head ‘no’. </p><p>Bucky leaves the room, leaving Steve to get dressed. He feels alone, something he knows he does not like feeling. He hurries, stripping down quickly and folding up his pajamas neatly. Steve puts on his socks first, then tugs on his jeans before grabbing the dark henley. </p><p>Logically Steve knew it would be too big for him but Bucky wanted him to wear it so that was okay. It practically swallows him whole, hanging off one shoulder with the sleeves running past his hands. It’s huge and it’s Bucky’s. Steve likes wearing Bucky’s shirt, he decides. </p><p>He doesn’t see a need to put on the shoes, as they don’t plan on going anywhere. He takes them and sets them outside the door just in case there’s an emergency. He continues walking until he finds Bucky, who’s sprawled out on the couch, watching mindless television. The brunette turns his head over to Steve and makes an unreadable expression, with his eyes going wider and brows raising slightly. </p><p>The blond is nervous for a moment, he’s not sure how Bucky will respond. Then Bucky’s giving him a smile, bigger than the last time he saw it. There’s a sparkle in those stormy eyes and there are butterflies fluttering about in Steve’s stomach moving their way up into his chest, and fluttering into his lungs. </p><p>“You look nice, Steve.” </p><p>---</p><p>Bucky remembers the days when Steve would intentionally take his clothes. They were big in comparison to his lover’s smaller frame. He looked good in them, anyway. He holds on to those memories. </p><p>Today Steve wore one of his shirts today and all Bucky wanted to do was tell him how cute he looked and give him kisses on his soft rosey cheeks. But he couldn't do that and the fact that he couldn't do that to his own damn boyfriend killed him. Hydra had taken so much from and now he’s just a shell of a person without his other half. </p><p>In time they would heal.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have no ide when chapter four will be out but feed back would be great!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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